Damn Regret and Cigarettes
by Schmelly Inc
Summary: .::Green and blues eyes...lungs filled up with smoke. Fast lives stuck in the undertow...is there anything that can slow it down, and make her see that it's not as hard as it seems?::. Oneshot...AxelNamine


Hey everyone, I wrote ths story because I just wanted to try channeling my adolescence...well it was incredibly great to write and I hope you like it:) It is definitely different than my usal oneshots but I hope I still put out a good piece of work.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts and/or any of the characters, they belong to Square Enix and Disney.**

There are some thoughts in this one...Nami's are in _italics _and Axel's are in **_bold italics._**

**_Enjoy!_**

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**.::Damn Regret and Cigarettes::.**

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"Nami, come out already! I wanna see how that dress looks on you…I picked it out especially for you so you better have it on!"

The fair haired girl behind the bathroom door stared critically at the reflection that met her doe-like gaze. Her usually straight blonde hair had been curled softly at the tips by her cousin, giving her a very angelic look that was a drastic change from her normally…normal looking locks.

Kairi had demanded on glazing at least two coats of mascara on her lashes, painting her regularly bare lips with a subtle gloss, and sneakily attacked the vulnerable blonde with a fine sprinkle of rose blush. She didn't look like herself at all…it wasn't necessarily a bad change but she still viewed it with more pessimism than anything else.

_I look like a doll…_

And the dress…well, all the blonde could admit in honesty was that it made her feel downright uncomfortable. The white dress hugged her body in all the places she wasn't used to showing off and she couldn't release her vice-like grip on the dress' intimidating hemline.

_Oh, it stops just above the knee…yeah more like mid thigh Kairi!_

The self-conscious blonde let out a deep sigh before grasping the cold doorknob in her slender fingers, twisting, and entering the adjoining room. Her tender ears could barely tolerate the onslaught of delighted squeals that gushed from her cousin's mouth.

"Oh my gosh, Nami you look so good…I made such a great choice, and to think you weren't even gonna go. Hello! Can someone say biggest dance of the year?" the equally dolled up girl mused, pretty wine colored curls bouncing happily.

"I don't know Kairi…it's kind of short, don't you think?" the blonde asked quietly, still fingering the dress' hem nervously.

"No, it's just right, you're just not used to it…I mean, who'd have guessed that you have a body under all those sweaters and jeans you wear," the ruby haired girl said with that perfect tinkling laugh, "Now you can show off those gorgeous gams to all the guys!"

Naminé could feel her cheeks naturally flush under the synthetic rosy blush and she playfully smacked her cousin on the arm.

"Right…cause you know everyone's staring at the lonely wallflower," the blonde said jokingly, deep down feeling the heaviness that weighed on her intentioned lighthearted comment.

"Come on Nami, don't be like that…you know it's not true, and anyways no one will be able to ignore you while you're looking like this!" the red head said openly, rummaging noisily through one of her many shopping bags, "And now, I took the liberty of picking out the pièce de résistance to your outfit…ta da!" the crimson haired girl exclaimed, pulling out a pair of pale blue sling backs.

"High heels? No way, I'll wear the dress but I draw the line there," the blonde protested in vain, as her cousin ushered her into a chair and strapped the heels on her small feet.

"Come on stand up, let me see…" the girl insisted, pushing a stray wine colored ringlet from her indigo gaze.

"Alright…but if I fall, I'm blaming you!" the high heel donning blonde warned as she rose from the chair on unsteady feet.

"Wow, Nami you clean up nice…I'm almost jealous. Now, the guys should be here to pick us up soon…so just break them in a bit while I freshen up my lip gloss." the curly red head declared as she headed towards the bathroom.

"Again? Sora's gonna drown in all that gloss you keep putting on." the blonde joked while taking careful steps around the room, grabbing onto a nearby chair for support.

Kairi's voice floated from the bathroom in biased opposition,

"You can never have enough lip gloss Nami…it's a girl's best friend."

"Yeah okay…" the blonde muttered quietly.

Before long, the two girls heard an impatient horn tear through the silence of the night and Kairi's mom's voice drifted up from downstairs.

"Girls! It sounds like the guys are here!"

Kairi's head poked out of the bathroom and she shouted down to her mom,

"Okay mom! We'll be down in a sec!"

The blonde made her way to her cousin's door, wobbling all the way, but the red head's hand caught her.

"Geez Nami, want to kill yourself? You're not seasoned enough to attempt stairs by yourself…here, just let me help."

The two girls carefully made their way down the staircase, ambushed by Kairi's mom at the bottom who held a camera in her perfectly manicured fingers.

"Oh girls, you look so gorgeous! And Naminé, work those legs honey!" the blonde girl's aunt cheered, taking pictures all the while.

"Mom! Don't be so embarrassing!" the red head moaned warily.

"Alright sweetie…I ran out of film anyways. Just have fun and be safe, and call me when you kids are done 'getting down' as the young folk say." the older woman called out after the girls, who were headed out the front door.

"Yes mom…man, she always finds a way to humiliate me." the red head whispered after reassuring her mom.

The girl's winced slightly as the car horn blared four more times in quick succession,

"Sora! Calm down we're coming!" Kairi yelled to the hasty brunette in the driver's seat, his fingers drumming the steering wheel quickly.

As they approached the car, their identical azure eyes lay on the two boys sitting patiently in the car…and the other one in the driver's side not sitting so patiently. The silver haired boy greeted the red head as she neared the waiting car.

"Hey Kairi, you look good…where's Nam-"

The words lay frozen on the platinum haired boy's lips as his gaze lay on the girl just behind Kairi,

"Whoa…"

The other blonde haired boy in the car pushed Riku aside to get a view,

"What? What's so 'whoa'? I wanna see…wow! Nami? Is that you?" Roxas gasped, mouth hanging open stupidly.

"Yup, that's her! I see you like the makeover I gave her boys," the red head said with a sly smile and a wink in the blonde girl's direction, mouthing a satisfied, 'I told you so'.

The moment was ruined by the loud yell issued from Sora's mouth,

"Where's Naminé already! I wanna go!"

The boy was silenced as the silver haired boy socked the boy on the back of the head,

"Would you shut up man, she's already here…god." Riku indicated with irritation, pointing in her direction.

"That's not Nami…is it?" the brunette said, leaning forward and squinting his cobalt eyes, "Hey what do you know, it is…hey Nami, what's up?"

The blonde girl smiled amusedly as she got into the back with the two other boys,

"Nothing much…umm, let's get going." the blonde girl said, uncomfortable under the gaze of three guys.

**.::.x.::.**

Upon arrival the group of five exited the hastily parked vehicle, Sora practically becoming suicidal having been upset that they were a little late.

The spiky haired brunette quickly seized the red headed girl's hand and they began to march towards the building, Naminé, Riku, and Roxas in tow.

"Sora, slow down…we're like ten minutes late!" the silver haired boy bellowed after the charging brunette, quickly having fallen out of step with the practically sprinting spiky haired boy.

The sound of loud music fell upon their ears, the air was filled with the melody and Sora's off-key voice attempting to sing along. Roxas, with his hands over his ears, shouted loudly over Sora's yowling and the music,

"Would somebody gag that kid before my ears start to bleed!"

Kairi having miraculously heard the blonde boy at her vicinity; gently planted a kiss on the brunette's lips, shutting him up immediately. Her blue gaze caught the relieved faces of the trio behind them accompanied by smiles of appreciation.

As they entered the building the music hit them full blast, causing the blonde girl to wince slightly but producing no reaction from the others. She already regretted coming…it really wasn't her kind of scene. The music, the lights…she'd much rather be at home with her sketchbook and in her comfy pajamas than anything else.

Sora dragged Kairi away the minute they entered the room and Roxas said something about trying to find some girl before running off as well. So, Naminé was left with Riku who sweetly promised to save her a dance before also going his own way, sending her a quick wave over his receding figure.

Once again she was all alone…she should've expected it though. It's what happened every time, she didn't have anyone besides them. She was just the wallflower once again…but it hurt more this time. Maybe she had thought this time **would** be different but, the makeover, the high heels…all amounted to nothing.

So, she let out a sad sigh as she headed for the familiar area that had a select few people already slumped against it's wall. She collapsed dejectedly into an unoccupied chair and crossed her legs in a ladylike fashion, putting the length of her dress into consideration.

_I guess no amount of makeup can change the fact that this whole thing just isn't…me._

She looked across the dance floor, easily spotting the wine haired girl trying to dance with the uncoordinated efforts of Sora 'dancing'. Kairi almost getting hit in the face by one of his flailing arms.

Naminé felt a smile tug at the corners of her lips, he really was adorably hopeless. But she felt the smile falter as a caustic smell hit her nose, a fine cloud of fumes hanging in the air. A loud voice that called out from across the floor made her jump in surprise.

"Hey! I see you Axel! No smoking in the building…if you're gonna do it, take it outside!" the dance chaperon yelled at a boy, slightly concealed in the shadows and currently reveling in a cigarette.

Her deep blue eyes searched the silhouette of his face, trying to catch a glimpse of his features in the amber glow of the lit cigarette. She quickly averted her gaze, but watched him flick the butt to the ground and grind it under his timeworn shoes out of the corner of her eye.

She heard him grumbling unintelligibly under his breath and before too long, she could almost physically feel his eyes studying her, burn through her. She felt as if he could see through everything except her own heart…the makeup, the façade.

The boy tilted his scarlet spiked head to the side, intense viridian eyes sizing up the petite blonde. He'd admit his eyes lingered a fraction of a second longer on her bare, slender legs…but hey, he was a guy.

_**Wonder why a girl like this is sitting all alone…no doubt just dumped by some dickhead.**_

The boy grabbed a chair from beneath some poor guy just about to take a seat, and watched him fall with a cynical smirk before placing the chair beside the girl and roughly plopping into it. He quickly wracked his head for a slightly cheeky icebreaker, feeling her questioning blue gaze on his features.

Satisfied, he let his eyes meet hers in a deep stare before beginning the conversation,

"What's a pretty thing like you doing with these dancehall rejects…did ya get dumped on opening night or something?"

With the improved lighting working to her advantage; she took in his attractive features, almost getting pulled in by his magnetic jade eyes.

_Hmm…I could ask you the same thing…except minus the pretty part and add something more like darkly handsome. Oh my god, listen to yourself Nami!_

She was brought back to earth as his hand waved in front of her eyes and repeated his question slowly,

"Did…you…get…dumped…or…something?"

_Oh, way to go Nami…he probably thinks you're some blonde ditz…_

"Sorry…no I didn't, my cousin dragged me here. I kind of regret it though…dances aren't really my thing." she said quietly with a sheepish smile.

"I know what you mean…I hate these things, but it's kind of mandatory for me. I got suspended by that prick that just yelled at me and now I have to help out at all the shitty social gatherings…one more hoedown and I'm gunna go mental," he agreed bitterly, before sending her a smirk and continuing, "Oh, and the name's Axel…you know for future reference."

"Naminé…umm I hope I don't come across as rude, I mean we just met, but do you think you could help me find my friend? I thought maybe I could have fun this time but…it's really not working out for me." she asked uncertainly, thoughts of refusal already running through her head.

"Rude? Compared to most people you're practically a freaking spokesperson for civility. Sure, I'll help you…it's too bad you're not having good time though," he said with a sincere smile, "So, where's this friend of yours?"

The blonde haired girl scanned the room with her azure eyes, finding it increasingly difficult to spot Kairi with the dimming lights.

"I can't really see her…she was over there a while ago. But, if you spot some guy who looks like he's having a seizure…you'll probably find her." she said with a reminiscent smile playing across her lips.

"Alright then, let's get going…" he said standing up from his seat with an amused smile.

She let him help her up and kept holding onto his hand as he led them closer to the massive group of people,

"YO! Move it man!" he yelled over the loud music, shoving some random guy out of the way and pushing his way past the crowd, keeping a firm, reassuring grip on her small hand.

They searched for what seemed like twenty minutes with no luck. They soon found themselves back where they had started. They looked around once more before standing hopelessly in defeat. They both realized they were still holding hands and released quickly, both feeling the warm sensation in their cheeks as they were tinted rosily.

He scratched the back of his head nervously, emerald eyes inspecting his worn out sneakers before breaking the silence,

"So…what are you gonna do now?"

She cast a forlorn glance across the floor before turning her azure gaze to his expectant face, giving her back some of that lost happiness.

"Well, I guess I'll just walk…it's not terribly far or anything." she said uncertainly.

"You know, we could just hang around outside until the dance is over…you would spot them as they left right?" he suggested slowly, enjoying the thought of being alone with her…figuring out all the little things about her.

"Alright, I was starting to worry about walking all that way in these heels anyways," she said with relief, an appreciative smile on her lips.

She followed him closely, sticking safely behind as he pushed aside the traffic, smiling to herself as he bellowed loudly at people over the music.

As the cool breeze hit her face, she instantly felt better…the feeling of being a defenseless canary in it's birdcage prison passing remarkably quickly. Her high heels made the passage difficult as they made the transition to grass, so she stopped to take them off. Almost falling over as she bent over to pull them off her aching feet, but his strong arm gently steadied her…his touch sending butterflies flitting pleasantly through her stomach.

The feeling of cool grass gently tickling her feet made her feel so refreshed, as she followed him towards a empty bench standing in seclusion by the children's playground. The swings swaying softly with the warm summer breeze, the metal singing a gentle song as the links chimed faintly.

She carefully took a seat on the wooden bench, listening to the serene sounds of the night as he took a seat beside her, his back leaning dependently on the makeshift bench.

"You know…I remember passing this park a million times, and every time I just wanted to let my guard down like only a child can and swing like I used to. It sucks how being a teen changes everything…you can never do anything without considering how it will affect you." she mused with a hint of sadness.

He watched her intently, wondering why such a beautiful girl would have to second guess herself…she was incredibly hard on herself. It was amazing how she had gotten through life, placing herself under a microscope like that…must've been hard.

"Who says that only a child can let their guard down like that…the only person you should care about is yourself. Who gives a damn what people think? It's too hard to please everyone and then add your own expectations into the mix." he said, with all the impulsiveness he had in his body.

"But, it's not that easy…" she protested weakly.

"Bullshit…just take little steps. How about this, why don't you start by swinging like you used to…no one's around anyways, it won't hurt to try," he proposed reasonably, "If you just end up looking like a dork, it won't really matter."

"Well…I guess that doesn't seem so bad." she admitted while rising from the bench and heading tentatively towards one of the swings.

Axel sat back with his arms crossed, a satisfied expression dancing on his features. She carefully took a seat on the plastic seat, but before preparing to swing forwards, she raised her gaze in realization and sent the boy a glare.

"You are **NOT** sitting there while I swing…you'll be able to see right up my dress! You'd better move Axel…"

_**Oh well, it was worth a try…**_

"Yeah, alright…I'll stand here okay?" he asked, moving to one of the swing's posts which he leaned against, "Are you happy now? I'm not in viewing sight."

"That's better…" she said, still a bit annoyed but she couldn't keep an amused smile from tempting the corners of her lips.

He watched as she stepped back a bit before letting the momentum take her forwards gently. He couldn't help the significant smile that played across his lips; her face had lit up the minute the thrust had pulled her forwards, she looked so happy and carefree…she looked like the little kid she had once been. It was just too bad she couldn't let her out more.

She could almost feel the world passing her by with each pump of her legs…how she had missed that feeling. Everything seemed but an arm's length away, like she could reach out and touch a little piece of anything she wanted to. It felt so good to just let everything slip away with the surroundings that became mere blurs in her vision.

It really wasn't so hard to recapture that moment of childhood…such trouble free days that she hadn't been able to find for the longest time.

"Hey Axel, do you think I should jump off? I used to love doing that when I was a kid…" she shouted happily above the air that rushed past her ears.

"I dunno…you're kind of high," he said , feeling some worry well up inside his chest.

"Yeah but I used to do it all the time…here I go!" she yelled eagerly, letting go of the chains and thrusting forwards.

"Naminé! Wait!" he shouted in vain, watching her head for the ground.

Time seemed to slow as he ran towards her falling body; he stopped as he watched her land gracefully, dress twirling beautifully around her slender body but, then he hurried forwards again as she stumbled precariously.

She thought she was going to tumble to the sand but his strong arms encircled her waist, her hands coming to rest lightly on his chest. She raised her deep azure eyes to meet his, a feeling of awe swirling in his head as the stars were reflected like flawless diamonds in her upturned gaze.

They stood so still; caught in the moment, he could feel her heartbeat against his own…fast like his. He watched her eyelashes slowly veil her shimmering blue eyes, as did his emerald ones soon after. She leant up on her tiptoes, minimizing the distance between his lips and hers, and he bent his head to close it.

His lips tenderly grazed the soft edges of her mouth, as gently as the very air he breathed caressed their skin. She felt so light…like she could've drifted away on the very wings of the breeze. If he hadn't been there, pulling her slowly deeper, always within his arms…she was sure she would have.

It seemed like an eternity had passed as their lips slowly parted but, somehow that didn't seem long enough. Their eyes opened like flowers blooming in spring, finding the sun in each other's gaze. She leant her head against his warm chest, feeling like she finally found the missing piece of herself that had been with him. He held her tightly in his arms, maybe just a little afraid that if he let go he'd lose her. He nuzzled his face in her soft hair, drinking in her sweet scent.

She felt a smile fall upon her lips, and she bent the beautiful silence as her voice held the night in it's grasp,

"So did I look like a dork?" she asked with a small laugh, filling another unseen void in his life that only she could.

"Well, maybe a little bit…but only because you were being yourself and you know, I wouldn't have you any other way," he said softly, with a smile that could be heard in his voice.

She nestled closer to his body, embracing the safety she felt before murmuring quietly into his chest,

"I never thought being yourself could be such a beautiful thing…"

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Okay, that was it! I hope it wasn't cheesy or anything...well, tell me what you thought! And I'm not going to ramble like I usually do...so just remember to read and review! Hope to here from you guys:) 

Until next time,

Schmelly **:3**


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